Contemporary Expression

Together or Separate?
November 27, 2009, 9:53 am
Filed under: Coming Out


Nancy and Joan are together ....

The holidays have been strange for me for about…well 22 years. The idea of spending the holidays  “with family” becomes a complicated one when your family is not welcome by your family, or some of your family … see it’s strange.

In the December 2009 issue of Curve Magazine Victoria A. Brownworth writes about how all of us have to find out what family really means. “This season, consider whether that trip home will make you feel good or bad, affirmed or nearly destroyed. Consider whether the people who share your DNA also share your values and sense of self. Consider whether “home” is a reality or just a word.”

Joan and  I smirk every time we are asked at a restaurant if we are “together or separate?”  It took us way too long to affirm to our families that we were “together”. Together for twelve years in a relationship, watching pronouns and getting separate tabs was exhausting.  Now ten years later having lived and committed to each other for over two decades, every time we say “together” to some unsuspecting waiter or waitress…it’s like, we’ll it’s like coming home.

So, for the record – we’re together.




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